Conversations
by La-Drenaline
Summary: Insights into Veronica and Logan's relationship, as seen through conversations between Veronica and the most important people in their lives.
1. Chapter 1

**Conversations**

**..**

**1- Mac and Veronica**

**..**

**.**

There are numbers going through Veronica's head as she waits for Mac in Mama Leone: twenty-eight. Eight months of physical therapy for her dad. The staggering number of her student loan. Rent to pay. The amount of money the case she accepted this morning will bring in. _One hundred and sixty seven days to go_.

This one comes back a lot.

"Oh, that frown doesn't look good, Bond," Mac says as she plops down in front of her. "Are you having setbacks in conquering the world?"

"You know how it goes, Q, it comes easier to the villains. They've got the cash," Veronica jokes. "Ready to eat messy?"

"Always," Mac answers.

It only takes them a few minutes to order - they always get the same thing here.

"Sooo..." Mac starts as she ties the lobster bib around her neck. "Logan again, uh?"

Straight for the jugular. Mac has never been one to dance around the problem.

"It's always been Logan," Veronica sighs. "You know how we are."

Everyone in their entourage knows, of course. You only have to take a look at Keith's first reaction when his only daughter came back to Neptune and it took him all of five seconds to guess it was Logan-related. Or Dick's comment about her following him around, even after nine years of radio silence.

It's always about Logan.

"I do," Mac nods. "And I hope that this time it works out..."

She trails off, looking uncertain.

"We've grown up," Veronica says.

"Did you?" Mac asks. "I don't mean anything bad by that, Veronica, but you sort of fell back to your old patterns with him, didn't you? Something went very wrong in your lives and you got back together again."

Veronica leans back and muses a little on this. Did they really? It had been the way for them, all those years before, and Mac has it right. Her dad had been in the hospital and her first thought had been that she needed Logan. She had needed him and his touch, fiercely, and it had been all she could think about at that moment.

Mac is looking at her worriedly now.

"Look, Veronica, I don't mean that I'm against it... I'm just..."

"It's okay, Mac," Veronica interrupts her, raising her hand. "You're right. It is our pattern."

"I'm not so sure it is healthy, that's all."

"I need him," Veronica blurts out.

Mac looks a bit shocked at that. Veronica knows why: she hasn't exactly made an habit of being forthright with her feelings. She's never actually talked to anyone about the way Logan and her work, because it's always felt too complicated and too intimate at the same time, for her to share it with anyone.

She's also always acted like she didn't_ need _anyone. Veronica Mars was a strong, independant woman, and she stood on her own in the face of adversity. And it had cost her so much that she had ran to the other side of the fucking continent to be able to maintain that persona.

"It's hard to explain," she says, taking the bib off. She doesn't feel like eating anymore, because her stomach is knotted and she thinks she may be having an epiphany. "The fact is that every dramatic moment in my life is linked with Logan. It's woven so tightly that we can't even distinguish ourselves from what happened to us, I think. And yeah, it's not healthy, probably but... I need him."

"Do you think it's a good basis for a relationship?" Mac questions, and she's not eating anymore either.

Veronica laughs a little and remember Logan telling her that they never wrote songs about the ones that come easy. She doesn't know why she thinks about this moment, but she's thought about it so many times before that she's not really surprised it comes to her mind. It's been an automatic response whenever Logan comes to the forefront of her thoughts these past years. She's come to identify that declaration of his as the defining moment in their relationship. There was a pre-epic love story period in their history, and a post-epic love story one. Because at that time, she had realized that Logan loved her. That he truly, deeply loved her, and that he would never stop, no matter what happened in their lives.

There was a reason she never contacted him and avoided every mention of Logan Echolls for the following nine years. She had known that Logan would still love her, and she knew she could never handle the temptation of going back to him.

And look how spot on she had been: it had taken them only a few days to jump each other again.

"I need him, Mac," she says again. "I love him, much more than I ever loved or wanted to love anyone else. And the fact that I always go back to him when something awful happens is because of this."

"And you're not afraid it will end up like all those other times before?" Mac asks, frowning. "You guys don't really have a stellar track record."

Veronica sighs. She's thought about that, a lot. And she's come to her conclusion a few days ago.

"I don't know," she answers truthfully. "I think we've both grown up, and matured. And really, if nine years of avoidance didn't do the trick, I doubt anything could. The bottom line is, I suppose, that we've tried being apart, and it just didn't work. We need each other. I don't think we can go back to living without each other."

It's really hard for her to tell Mac all of this, but she feels like she owes it to her friend. And she also wants her to understand, as much as it is possible to understand. Veronica isn't kidding when she says she can't live without Logan being hers. Every time her dad suggests she goes back to New York, the first thing that pops in her head is that she would go mad with jealousy if Logan found someone else now. She's not a sharer, and Logan is hers. Always have, always will.

"That is... sort of sad and amazing at the same time," Mac finally says. "Hey, it's your life, anyway, Bond, and I'll be here to pick up the pieces if anything happens. I'd just rather it didn't happen, you know?"

"I know. You're the best, Q," Veronica smiles. "And if it's any help, I really think it's going to work this time. We're not the same people we were ten years ago."

"It does sort of help," Mac says. "It's been so long since I've seen you this... relaxed."

Veronica doesn't feel relaxed. She thinks about one hundred and sixty seven days to go and she feels like her skin is too tight and she's going to choke. She hates that she's that unsettled by his absence again. Was that how Lianne felt when she tried to get clean? No wonder so few addicts managed to shake the dependance completely - the withdrawal symptoms were just too much to bear.

"It's the new me," she jokes.

"And apparently the new you is an Army wife," Mac deadpans. "Who would have thought?"

"He's Navy, not Army."

Mac gives her a pointed look, smirking.

"See? You're already starting to settle into your role!"

"This is going to be a recurring joke, isn't it?"

"You bet it is."

And then they're both laughing and Veronica thinks_ one down, three to go_, and then _one hundred and sixty seven days to go_.

But what are one hundred and sixty seven days? They're Veronica and Logan, and their story is epic.

..

.

Yep, really obsessive about LoVe right now, especially the way it was depicted in the movie. Two short stories in two days, I've rarely been this productive.

There should be more to come, as I intend for Veronica to have such discussions with the main people in their entourage: Dick, Keith and Wallace.

If you have any remarks, I'll be glad to hear them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Conversations**

**..**

**2- Dick and Veronica**

**..**

**.**

"Who is she? What is she doing here?"

Her voice is two degrees away from artic ice and Dick feels a number of things. First, he thinks that his lady friend might not be so friendly anymore now, and his little friend downstairs is not happy about it. Second, he wonders just as much as his companion what the fuck the blonde woman lounging in his sofa is still doing here. Third, he feels a bit scared, because Ronnie is glaring at them above her documents, and he's always been scared of Ronnie. He calls it natural instinct.

"I live here," Ronnie answers snapishly. "Who are you?"

She doesn't ask what the woman is doing here, because it's pretty obvious, and Ronnie's not the sort to overlook the evidence when it stares at her right in the face. It's always been Dick's prerogative and now he's forced to confront the fact that Ronnie does indeed live here.

He takes a look around the place and when did so many things Ronnie appeared in the room? There's a blue comforter hanging over the sofa, so ratty it's probably older than them. The coffee table is littered with case files and there's a computer on the table by the bay window which is neither his nor Logan's, besides Ronnie's jacket and messenger bag.

Dick comes to the horrible conclusion that this is not a bachelor's pad anymore.

"Aren't you supposed to be single?" Lizzie asks, and her voice has dropped another degree.

"We're not together," they both protest at the same time.

"She's Logan's... girlfriend, I guess," Dick says.

He feels Lizzie relaxing slightly and the downstairs guy starts feeling reassured. For the first time in his life, though, Dick's head disagrees with his lower body. He wants to know what happened to his safe haven, and he doesn't feel like waiting until Lizzie leaves.

"Sorry, but I don't think you'll get to discover the legendary Dick mojo tonight," he hears himself saying. "Rainchek, ok? I'll call you back," he continues, leading her to the door.

"Are you kidding me?" she exclaims, her voice rising two octaves.

She must see that he's not, because she slaps him. He guesses this one is gone for good. Shame. Nicest legs he's seen these past two weeks.

He makes a detour by the fridge for a beer. He has a feeling he'll need it. When he returns to the living room, Ronnie has gone back to her file. He lets himself fall, loudly, into the chair facing him and puts his feet on the coffee table, messing with her papers. She raises her eyes to glare at him and he almost takes them down.

"What?" she snaps.

"Explain."

"Explain what?"

"When did you move here?" he asks, opening the beer.

Ronnie raises an eyebrow at him.

"Seriously Dick? That's your question?" she sighs. "I've pretty much been living here since Logan left."

"Why can't you guys do anything normally?" he whines. "Normally you move in with a guy when he's actually living in the damn house!"

She actually chuckles at that.

"I can't believe you didn't realize that before," she says, shaking her head. "There's oblivious and oblivious, Dick."

"You were only there from time to time," he protests. "I thought Logan just asked you to water his plants, or something. Why did you even move in, anyway? Logan won't be back for another month, and you can't stand me."

Ronnie frowns and finally puts down her folder, directing her full attention to him.

"Dick, I'm twenty-eight and I graduated from law school. I love my dad to death, but going back to live with him is not..." she trails off. "I'm twenty eight," she repeats.

"But you're killing my style!"

"Hey, it's the first time in five months that I hampered your nighttime activities."

It is, actually. Taking into account the fact that Ronnie considers she's been living here since Logan left, she's made herself remarkably scarce. And Dick has never really considered her to be the discreet type.

They stay silent for a few minutes. He drinks his beer slowly, and she's gone back to studying the bunch of printings spread in front of her.

"So you guys are really doing this, uh?" he suddenly asks.

She takes a long look at him.

"Yeah. We are."

He didn't really need the answer, because when she appeared on their front door and snarked right back at him back then, and she was exactly the same Veronica Mars as before, his first thought had been 'oh fuck, here we go again'.

"Why?"

She's surprised at the question and he gives her his patented shit-eating grin. Now that was a nice feeling, throwing off Veronica Mars.

"Are we really having this conversation?" she wonders idly.

"Hey, you're the one fucking my best buddy again. I'm just trying to figure out whether you will fuck him over. Again."

"We used to do that, didn't we?"

He scoffs. It had been their fucking trademark, that's what it had been.

"You're gonna do it again," he states. "I don't want to see Logan go through it once more. He's a mess when you leave, and it gets worse every time. He gets all mopy and then when I convince him to party he just goes over the top. Can't you just leave the dude in peace?"

"Logan contacted me, I didn't just decide to come back on my own."

"He's always the one reaching out to precious little Veronica Mars," Dick comments bitterly.

Ronnie closes her eyes a second, like she's in pain.

"Dick," she says frostily. "I know you care about Logan, but you don't know a single fucking thing about us. You were simply never around the times _I_ reached out to him, and only got my heart handed back bloody and beaten. I'm not the only one responsible for what happened between us."

"Dude, you _left_," he says, incredulous. "You just up and disappeared when things got too intense."

"Dude," she mocks him, "I chose the only path available to me if I wanted to salvage anything in my life. I will not apologize for that. If I had stayed, Logan and I would have destroyed each other completely."

"Oh, so fucking up his life was alright?"

"I refuse to be held accountable for Logan's self-destructive behaviour," she snaps. "I did a lot of things to help him out of this path, and guess what? It didn't fucking work. And I had my own issues to deal with too. We all had," she says with a pointed look. "Logan and I actually grew up. We got over it. What about you? You're still sleeping around and the only way you've found to deal with Cassidy's death is eating magic brownies. Do you think you have any leeway to criticize the way I dealt with my own issues?"

Dick reels back from this. He should have known better than to attack her. He should have known she would pick up the truth about him. Probably from that jab to the lawyer about his chronic depression - but he had really thought everyone assumed it was a joke.

"Did Logan tell you?"

"No," she sighs. "He didn't need to."

"How..."

He stops, takes a deep breath and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.

"Logan is still living with you. Neither of you are cash-tight, he had a steady girlfriend and going military had pretty much forced him to pull his shit together," Ronnie explains. "So, it wasn't for his benefit. And then there was the chronic depression story you told the lawyer. It wasn't that hard to figure out."

"I'm not depressive," he says.

"Whatever, Dick," she shrugs.

"And you're going to fuck everything up with Logan."

"Do you have any other world than fuck in your vocabulary, Casablancas?"

He tries another way.

"I don't want you to live here."

"Then I guess you will have to find a way to make me move out," she answers with a saccharine sweet smile.

Of course that's never gonna happen. Dick will never be able to go against her - he might be a fool, but he knows that Ronnie's much better at facing adversity that he is. After all, he's only had one traumatic event in his life, and he doesn't think there's enough fingers on his hands to count the ones in her life. And who's the more balanced one in the room? (Okay, so that might be a trick question. None of the people living in this house could really be described as balanced. Bottom line: she's the strongest one.)

He gets up, intent on escaping. His beer is still half full, and he goes to finish it in one go, when she says something that makes him swallow down the wrong pipe and spits it all over himself.

"Hey, Dick? We're doing this because we're completely addicted to each other. We love each other, as insane as it sounds."

By the time he's finished coughing, she's gone, and so are all the papers on the coffee table, but there's a ray of light under Logan's door. Dick is a mess with beer all over his t-shirt and his only thought is that he's gonna need one of his brownies to wrap his head around the idea that this time, Veronica Mars might not mess everything up.

Fuck. She's going to live with them forever.

He hopes there's more beer left.

..

.

Yep, obsessed. Bordering on maniacally so, actually.

Anyway, here goes Dick and Veronica's discussion/fight. Dick is sort of out of character, I guess, but I grabbed the idea about him being depressed that the movie suggests and I ran with it. I wanted to show him as more than the comic relief, and I thought that if anyone would be protective of Logan, it would be him.

I hope you enjoy it anyway, and if you want to let me know about your impressions, you know where the review button is (but just in case: it's right under these words!).


End file.
